Payday Loans Gone Wild - Quick Payday Loan

The Transformation From Quick Payday Loan Into Quick Beer Bong

The first thing you do with a quick payday loan is get crunked

My buddy Kip could make a "tobacco pipe" out of just about anything. But that's not what we needed at that moment. Fortunately none of those had been confiscated when we got pulled over on the way down to Florida, although those Alabama cops sure put a scare into us. We needed a way to get hammered as quickly as possible... a beer bong. A funnel with plastic tubing of some sundry sort. We left it back in New York. It was a killer... but nothing a quick payday loan couldn't handle. We needed a few hundred bucks NOW - there could be no waiting around for our next paychecks, as we were on vacation - and a quick payday loan was the option.

We needed a quick payday loan so bad. You can suck down a whole beer within 8 seconds using that thing, half that if you are any good. But how? You don't just come across one of those anywhere! We didn't even think of quick payday loans, with the exception of Kip. He was always a step ahead of the game when it came to getting money without working for it or finding new ways to get hammered. As soon as we alerted Kip to the absence of the "Death Star" (our two-story funnel), he hacked our hotel's wireless connection and applied for a quick payday loan.

The Makeshift "Death Star II"

Within hours, he had the quick payday loan. A few minutes after that, nine of us piled into his beige Volvo and sought out the closest hardware store. None of us thought to look that up online while Kip was getting the $500 quick payday loan, of course. Some of us where sufficiently "smoked up" while others were simply zoned out. Bottom line, it took awhile to find one, especially while leaning out the windows and sunroof hollering at girls and trying to avoid getting run off the road by similarly lost frat guys from other states. As easy as getting a quick payday loan was, finding the hardware store was not.

Until we hit paydirt at random. It took Kip only a few minutes to scour the store for all the materials needed to construct the make shift Death Star II. But he did, and thanks to the quick payday loan he got, he financed it in full and was able to secure a couple of 30-packs from the convenience store on the way back. By the time we returned to the Motel, the staff feared us. Three sheets to the wind and looking to break stuff, the first thing Kip did -- always thinking, that Kip - was to apply for another fast payday loan in preparation of bailing Darren out of jail. We didn't know it them, but that payday loan was perhaps the most prophetic in history.